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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...
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Humpty Dumpty

I was having a conversation with Humpty Dumpty. "What on earth made you sit on a wall endangering your yolk?" I asked. "I am fully insured," he said smugly. "But all the king's horses and all the king's men could not put you together again," I pointed out. "Actually I am like a crossword puzzle. I knew that the king's men were asses. They could not put two and two together," he smirked. "So who picked up the pieces?" I asked. "None did, I put myself together again," he said chuckling as he teetered on the wall. "You will fall again and break your crown," I said. "That didn't happen to me. You should read 'Jack and Jill' more minutely," he said snobbishly. "They could have made a poach out of you, or scrambled eggs or even an omelette," I said ominously. "I wouldn't mind as long as they don't use pepper, it makes me sn...
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Fairy Tales

What would have happened should Humpty Dumpty not fallen off the wall? In the first place H.D., as fragile as he is, should not have been sitting on a wall. Even if he was, there should have been no cause for him to crane his gross neck to look at his toes. He would not have been able to anyway because of his bloated circumference. Merely gorging to become bloated is end justifying the means as Machiavelli said or did not . And, the result? End to end flab of the highest order. Then, let us take the case of Mary and the little lamb. Why in heavens name a lamb? Why not a dog or cat which are accepted pets around the home. But then I forget that she is from a rustic background. A proper female country bumpkin! I wonder if she says 'Baa' instead of a simple 'Hello'. Imagine her boyfriend complimenting her. "You're so beautiful!" "Baa!" "You have such a lovely voice!" "Baa!" "Will you marry...
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Middle Distance Again

There is a middle distance one stares into when the mouth opens slowly and the jaw drops to the chest contentedly. There are many moments in life when this happens. There are some who are very gifted in the art. The head drooping also occurs on public transport in Kolkata. While you hang onto the bus handle as the man behind you pushes forward with his paunch and the chap to your left treads sadistically on the little toe, the person sitting on the right seems to go into a trance. You look at him fiendishly and wipe your brow for the nineteenth  time. The man remains thus even when you are unceremoniously ejected back onto the street. Then there are others who stare out of the bus windows at nothing in particular, except when their eyes alight on a pretty woman. You cannot mistake that look. It is the middle distance gazer at his best. He is unperturbed as you sway and get pummelled by fellow travellers as the driver tries to think he is in a grand prix. It’s not ...
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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...
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Boredom

Cupid you must have heard of, the impish little fellow with a bow and arrow that is forever shadowing lovers. He has a cousin who is less well known. It is Boredom. He wields a blowpipe with which he wreaks mayhem, shooting darts at people who have little to do but twiddle their thumbs all day. The day came when the office was able to see my boots darken its doorstep for the last time. There was also a chorus wishing me a ‘happy retired life’. I nodded happily all around little knowing what I was letting myself in for.  At home I unpacked the goodbye presents and was thrilled to see that one was a microwave oven and another a dinner set. I also got a box of sweets. My elder daughter immediately confiscated them saying that it was too bad that I could not have them. She does not like sweets either, so I did not know what she did with them. The day after was glorious. The alarm did go off, but I put in on snooze. I put it back on snooze again after it rang. Then I swi...
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