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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...
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Of Bald Men and Little Girls

I was in the shop looking for chocolates. The little girl who was there with her mother looked me up and down. "Hello baldy," she said by way of greeting. Her mother looked horrified."You mustn't say that!" "But he is bald as a coot. I wonder if he is toothless too!" The little girl wondered aloud. I cleared my throat. "I have a few left," I said. "Where is that?" she asked suspiciously. "Mostly at the back," I replied truthfully. "You can't have any left at your age," the little girl said contemptuously. Her mother looked helplessly at me. "Don't mind her. She is just precocious." "Is she Caucasian?" I asked in surprised. "I thought they lived in very cold places." "My daughter is not a Caucasian, she is just very intelligent," her mother said indulgently. "And, she likes chocolates?" I asked amused. ...
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Chocolates

"Hello, Grandpa," the young fellow says genially as I am on my daily walk. I always lose my composure when a chap calls me grandpa. I am over sixty I admit, but, why grandpa? I never totter while I am out buying sinful chocolates for the few back teeth that I have left. "I'm not your Grandpa, you rascal!" I bellow. "Why are you calling me a rascal? I mean no harm!" the fellow replies a bit surprised at my asperity.   "I dislike people calling me grandpa. Now run along and call someone else grandpa," I say. "Ok, Grandpa," he says and walks off in a huff, as I glare after him. I resume walking.   Then I chance on the sweet young girl who wants to recommend a driver for my pint-sized car. "Hello! Grandpa!" she says. My eyebrows do not climb up. She is such a sweet and slender young thing. "Yes dear. Would you like a chocolate?" I ask hoping fervently she will say 'no...
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Middle Distance Again

There is a middle distance one stares into when the mouth opens slowly and the jaw drops to the chest contentedly. There are many moments in life when this happens. There are some who are very gifted in the art. The head drooping also occurs on public transport in Kolkata. While you hang onto the bus handle as the man behind you pushes forward with his paunch and the chap to your left treads sadistically on the little toe, the person sitting on the right seems to go into a trance. You look at him fiendishly and wipe your brow for the nineteenth  time. The man remains thus even when you are unceremoniously ejected back onto the street. Then there are others who stare out of the bus windows at nothing in particular, except when their eyes alight on a pretty woman. You cannot mistake that look. It is the middle distance gazer at his best. He is unperturbed as you sway and get pummelled by fellow travellers as the driver tries to think he is in a grand prix. It’s not ...
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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...
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Boredom

Cupid you must have heard of, the impish little fellow with a bow and arrow that is forever shadowing lovers. He has a cousin who is less well known. It is Boredom. He wields a blowpipe with which he wreaks mayhem, shooting darts at people who have little to do but twiddle their thumbs all day. The day came when the office was able to see my boots darken its doorstep for the last time. There was also a chorus wishing me a ‘happy retired life’. I nodded happily all around little knowing what I was letting myself in for.  At home I unpacked the goodbye presents and was thrilled to see that one was a microwave oven and another a dinner set. I also got a box of sweets. My elder daughter immediately confiscated them saying that it was too bad that I could not have them. She does not like sweets either, so I did not know what she did with them. The day after was glorious. The alarm did go off, but I put in on snooze. I put it back on snooze again after it rang. Then I swi...
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