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Showing posts from October, 2017

Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...
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The Gentleman Pickpocket

I was waiting at the bus stop when I noticed the old gentleman. "Waiting for a bus?" I asked trying to be friendly. He shook his head and looked at me with mournful eyes. "No. I'm waiting for people," he said with a sad smile. "For people?" "Yes to pick their pockets," the man said sorrowfully. I was instantly alert. "Are you a pickpocket?" "A gentleman pickpocket," he sighed unhappily. "What's the difference between the two?" I asked surprised. "I always ask permission before I pick someone's pocket," the old man said with a nod. "Oh!" "They usually respond by giving me some money," the pickpocket said. "But that's no better than begging!" I exclaimed. "Certainly not. A gentleman pickpocket does not beg. He merely borrows and there is no tomorrow for repayment." "Is this a touch?" I asked...
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Humpty Dumpty

I was having a conversation with Humpty Dumpty. "What on earth made you sit on a wall endangering your yolk?" I asked. "I am fully insured," he said smugly. "But all the king's horses and all the king's men could not put you together again," I pointed out. "Actually I am like a crossword puzzle. I knew that the king's men were asses. They could not put two and two together," he smirked. "So who picked up the pieces?" I asked. "None did, I put myself together again," he said chuckling as he teetered on the wall. "You will fall again and break your crown," I said. "That didn't happen to me. You should read 'Jack and Jill' more minutely," he said snobbishly. "They could have made a poach out of you, or scrambled eggs or even an omelette," I said ominously. "I wouldn't mind as long as they don't use pepper, it makes me sn...
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The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing

I was amazed to find a sheep baying at the moon. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Shh!" he hissed," I'm imitating a wolf." "I beg your pardon?" I asked. "I'm imitating a wolf," he repeated sheepishly. "Why?" I asked bluntly. "Because wolves prey," he said. "They say their prayers, do they?" I asked amazed. "Baa! "And, you like the moon?" I asked. "Baa," he snarled going back to the wolf routine. "So you are a sheep in wolves clothing?" "It's the latest fashion," he replied. "Do you always horn in?" I asked wishing to be illuminated. "No, I only honk it," the sheep replied. "I meant do you gatecrash parties?" I asked. "Wolves love to," he said. "Oh! Wolves have a love life!" I exclaimed. "They love sheep," he said morosel...
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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...
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Boredom

Cupid you must have heard of, the impish little fellow with a bow and arrow that is forever shadowing lovers. He has a cousin who is less well known. It is Boredom. He wields a blowpipe with which he wreaks mayhem, shooting darts at people who have little to do but twiddle their thumbs all day. The day came when the office was able to see my boots darken its doorstep for the last time. There was also a chorus wishing me a ‘happy retired life’. I nodded happily all around little knowing what I was letting myself in for.  At home I unpacked the goodbye presents and was thrilled to see that one was a microwave oven and another a dinner set. I also got a box of sweets. My elder daughter immediately confiscated them saying that it was too bad that I could not have them. She does not like sweets either, so I did not know what she did with them. The day after was glorious. The alarm did go off, but I put in on snooze. I put it back on snooze again after it rang. Then I swi...
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