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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...

The Dragon and Adam and Eve

The Dragon arrogantly swelled his chest as he had a look at the apple orchard in Paradise.

"This was historically mine," he said covetously.

Eve came out from among the apple-laden trees. "What are you mumbling about, swine?"

"I'm not porcine by a long shot," the Dragon snarled wisps of smoke coming out from his nostrils.

"You are not pig-headed then?" Adam asked genially joining his better half.

"Never," he hissed.

"Then why were you eyeing our apple orchard with your avaricious little slit eyes?" Eve asked sweetly.

"That was historically mine," the monster said greedily.

"You read history do you?" asked Eve.

"Yes I have a large library on World History," he replied snobbishly.

"Ha! Ha! Cackled Eve.

"He! He! Chuckled Adam.

"What are you two giggling about?" the  Dragon asked annoyed.

"History hasn't been created yet you featherbrain!" Adam pointed out.

"It will be when I send the Serpent," the Dragon said darkly.

"Oh, we have appropriately dealt with it," they said in chorus.

"What did you do?" asked the Dragon widening his little eyes.

"We gave it an apple, he ate it, and was banished from Paradise," Adam said smirking.

"You had the Serpent banished from Paradise?" the Dragon gasped. "Next you will say that you discovered electricity!" 

"Oh yes!" Eve replied proudly, "One of my great, greater, greatest grandchild, Benjamin Franklin will,"

"But then darkness will be dispelled," wailed the Serpent turning into The Devil.

"Let there be light," Adam said displaying a pocket torch gleefully.

"And, sewing machines," added Eve.

"Whatever are you going to do with them?" asked the Dragon.

"Just show you two the way out if you stumble about in the dark," Adam said.

"And sew up your nostrils," Eve added happily.

"But I won't be able to breathe!" the Dragon pointed out aghast.

"And neither I," said the Devil rubbing his horns.

"It will stop you laying claim to the apple of our eyes," chortled Adam and Eve.

"But that was historically mine," cried the Dragon again avariciously.

"All is historically mine," the Devil said not to be outdone.

"You two don't even know geography!" cried Adam and Eve.

"We don't need to," replied the Dragon and Devil contemptuously, "We always know what are historically ours."

History? You two are myths yourselves!" Adam pointed out.

"What makes you say that?" asked the Dragon and the Devil suddenly fearful.

"At the most, your descendants will be chickens," said Eve to the Dragon.

"I a chicken!" the Dragon gasped.

"Your scales will turn into feathers," said Adam.

"I am turning into a chicken! The scales have fallen from my eyes," the Dragon gasped noticing his sudden metamorphosis with horror.

"Thou shall not covet," God said appearing on the scene, "No apples for either of you. Just go to Hell or Timbuktu!"

"I'm going, I'm going," said the Dragon hastily taking to his hind legs.

"I am going, going gone," replied the Devil following suit flinging away his trident.

"Both have departed in peace," said God trotting off.

"God sure was pissed off," Adam said offering Eve an apple.

"The Dragon and the Devil must be pissing in their pants if they had the sense to wear them," replied Eve taking a bite and snuggling up cosily with Adam.

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Sundays

There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest  was very welcome. I loved to sleep.  I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for  midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean  that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon.  The pastor, in fact,  would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother  after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened  \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe  tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The on...