There was a time when I waited for Sunday. After a week of work, and I worked hard, a day of rest was very welcome. I loved to sleep. I am not an atheist, and I go to church maybe once a year for midnight mass on Christmas eve. So I'm not a churchgoer basically. Therefore Sundays did not mean that I was seated in the pews in church listening to the pastor's sermon. The pastor, in fact, would not recognise me until my sister, who goes more often to church, introduced me as her brother after Christmas Eve mass. I also had a problem sleeping and would lie awake at nights trying desperately trying to fall asleep. I tried counting sheep and it never worked. I also tried those sleeping videos on YouTube. I listened \ and felt bored. They were not music I was familiar with and they kept my eyelids firmly apart. Even a safe tranquillizer that my doctor prescribed did not have any effect. The only thing to do then was to switch on
Eve inveigled Adam, of Madam I'm Adam fame, to nibble the love apple and hey presto they were on earth after been sped on their way by the divine bum's brush. Now why in the world would she do that? The answer is simple. There were no shopping malls in the Garden of Eden, however elitist that address was.
But then Eve has been much maligned by misogynists. Men retain in their genes the cave dwellers mentality of dragging the better half by the roots of the hair to his dark cave. It was dark there as fire had not been invented.
And, why did Adam do that? He needed someone to cook for him, wash his smelly clothes and keep the home tidy. In our times Eve has got her own back. She made men wrack their brains to invent the washing machine, the vacuum cleaner, the microwave and sundry other utilities. This made men equal to women instantly.
Men learnt to wash clothes, clean the carpet and curtains and also how to cook. So great was the zest for cooking among men that the best chefs in the world today are male. Eve must be laughing up her sleeve.
And, after the laughter subsided, women donned trousers and business suits and began running corporations. Her underlings and lackeys, also in business suits, were men of course.
However hard he tried to be god's gift to women, men were stumped by one thing. They could not bear progeny. All that men could do was put on a pompous and asinine demeanour as they waited with creased brows and much frenzied pacing outside maternity wards.
After becoming a mother, women take to bed happily and allow men to run around furiously getting baby food, nappies and clothes for the new arrival, while shooting off phone calls to the office to tell the boss nastily that they were on paternity leave and no pay deduction could be legally made.
But Eve has her challenges too. She sometimes has to put up with a slave driving mother-in-law and, or, a nitwit husband. It was not ordained that women be menials to them. In such shameful cases the law and courts are a way out. But many bear daily torture which sometimes ends grimly in seeking a voluntary end to life.
But Eve conquers all challenges, rises above all circumstances, while Adam twiddles his thumbs, and, in his delusion of grandeur, wonders what keeps her ticking constantly in a male's world!
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